NBA All-Star Starters Announced

I know I’m late, and no I don’t mean on my cycle. I’m not a sexually active female. I mean that I’m late in talking about the NBA All-Stars having been announced today. Before beginning, I just want to wish everybody a Happy Kobe Day. On this day four years ago, Kobe Bryant scored 81 points(the second-most in NBA history) against the Toronto Raptors. It was my first January after graduation, and it took place almost exactly a month after his previous career-best game, when he went for 62 points in three quarters against the Dallas Mavericks on December 20th, 2005. This is your day, Kobe, and the NBA knows it. They’ve scheduled you to play against the New York Knicks, who routinely get lit up by you and your predecessor, LeBron James.

On a non-basketball note, I was driving to work today and was listening to the radio when a hilarious commercial came on. No, it wasn’t one of those funny Bud Light commercials. It was advertising a Lifetime-exclusive film that is centered around a group of teenage girls that all made a pact to get pregnant by the time they turned 18.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Needless to say, I was immediately intrigued, yet wholistically disturbed at the same time. After the initial shock wore down, it became hysterically funny to me. Seriously. What kind of dumb girls would do that? I know that this show is more than likely trying to raise awareness, but any girl stupid enough to make a pact like that should not get a show on basic cable made to prevent her from doing so. Maybe do a tour speaking to High School students across the country, or a convention, but an entire show?! Really?

The movie is called “The Pregnancy Pact” and I realize that I probably just added at least one more viewer to Lifetime programming. Since I know most of the people that read my blog, it would make the total number of Lifetime viewers spike 100%. My grandma being one of the original Lifetime-ers, and a new fan added into the mix.

This is like a bizarro version of the “American Pie” pact. Somebody please do a skit making fun of this film. This might be the first Lifetime event I watch willingly.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to the NBA’s All-Star starters.

The Western Conference disappointed me to no end when the fans decided that not one, but two Phoenix Suns members were fit to start. Did I just say members? Like it’s a gym or something? Players. This is a rare occurrence that should only be saved for teams with the best record in their conference and/or the league. It should not be granted to a team like the Suns, who are fighting just to stay in the top 8 of a very middle-of-the-pack conference.

I agree with the Amar’e Stoudemire pick, due to lack of competition. I have no problem with the Steve Nash pick, even though I’m on record as saying that CP3 should be in that starting spot. The problem arises when BOTH of them win starting spots. That just can’t happen. I feel like Ducky in “The Land Before Time” when I say this, but, “No no no.” NBA fans, you’ve made a mistake. Give the spot to Amar’e, or give the spot to Nash. But don’t give both spots to Amar’e and Nash.

I realize that I’m arguing for a lost cause, because the starters have been announced. I also realize that my argument makes no sense, but I’m okay with it. I just really hate the Suns. Like, really. I guess the only silver lining is that the NBA saved itself from a disastrous situation by fixing the voting process to eliminate Tracy McGrady from the starting position. Oh, I went there, and I have no proof to back up my claims of conspiracy either. That’s why it’s a conspiracy.

As far as the other picks go, I’m sorry to hear that Kevin Durant and Dirk Nowitzki were edged out by Carmelo Anthony and Tim Duncan respectively, but I’m also happy for them. The only worry I have is that with Durant not winning the starting spot, there exists a small chance that he might get over-looked by coaches around the association, whereas if Carmelo were not the starter, he would still be guaranteed a spot on the roster. I know the chances are miniscule, at best, but still. I’ve seen guys miss out entirely(Deron Williams ring a bell?) because the voting put their fate in the hands of the coaches, despite having tremendous seasons.

As for Kobe, once again, was there ever any doubt? ::in Joel Meyers voice:: “KOBE’S GOT IT!”

I am glad to see that despite the young talent around the league that come with young fans that a player as under-the-radar as Duncan can still get his respect. Seriously, this gives me hope for the NBA and the fans of the future. The man is a consummate professional who goes about his business with little-to-no complaints(save the hysterical eye-popping at the officials for calling fouls on him). For a long time, he was the best player in the NBA(not named Kobe Bryant). Even now, as his career seems to be winding down like Derek Zoolander‘s(which can be thought of, along with the movie “Old School” as the father of 2000-2010 comedy. These movies started the trend, and it has since turned into something entirely awesome), he’s still leading his team to the playoffs as one of the six legitimate contenders in the league.

Deron Williams(left) might miss yet another All-Star game, and Rajon Rondo(right) was wrongfully snubbed by NBA fans.

When it comes to the East’s All-Star starters, I feel angered by two selections that ought not have happened. These kind of brain farts by NBA fans prove the exact opposite of what I just said about them in the previous paragraph. I love Allen Iverson for what he does for youth around the country, but I’m not going to put him in a position to further disgrace himself and the entire NBA game by debating whether or not to accept or decline an invitation he never should have gotten.

This really is a type of recognition that should be reserved for players that deserve it based off the current season, and not a lifetime achievement award. Rajon Rondo should be the only Celtic player on the starting roster, and he should have replaced Iverson. I’ve already explained why in my NBA All-Stars post, but I’ll rehash for good measure. On top of being a freakishly gifted athlete, Rondo has been the linch-pin for the second-best team in the East. He has been the most consistent played for Boston, and his numbers are ridiculous. He’s averaging 14 ppg, 4.5 rpg, 9.6 apg, and 2.5 spg. He does his job on both ends of the court, and he is much deserving of this hardware-less award.

Voting for Iverson, who is having his worst year and hasn’t even played in as many games as other deserving guys, is both bad for him and bad for the game. You think you’re helping him, but you’re not. You’re placing him in a pickle. A very vinegary pickle. Don’t blame Iverson for being voted in, because he had nothing to do with it. Blame the fans.

I have to be insane, because I am one of the only people who thinks that Kevin Garnett should not be a starter this year. Maybe, based off record, and his surprisingly good play this year, he should get selected as a reserve. As a starter? No way. Chris Bosh should easily be in that spot. The Toronto resident is averaging career bests, and has his team one game under .500 but still in the playoffs if they were to start today(don’t give me that look. The East sucks, and that kind of record has teams on the cusp of having homecourt advantage).

Per the other three starters, I too feel like Dwayne, LeBron, and Dwight should all be the catalysts for the Eastern squad. They are a uniquely gifted group of players that are already household names and of the most popular NBA faces. This should be a fun game. The mismatch is clearly in the favor of the East, as they boast the young, athletic, and strong guys, while the West is the land of aged, fundamental,  and sweet-shooting old-school guys.

Go Team Duncan.

Till next time.


5 Responses to “NBA All-Star Starters Announced”

  1. Daniel Cool Beans Lee Says:

    Allen couldn’t embarass himself more than Jordan, can he?

  2. Tommy Hancock Says:

    1st, non-nba: apparently the pregnancy pact is based on a true story…double you tee eff? I’ll save my sexist comments for private conversations with you, where i also voice my racist and other bigoted comments, and just say, what the hell is wrong with people? and good mentions for Zoolander and Oldschool, clearly the movies that led comedy on a righteous path.

    nba: First off, Iverson…wow. I don’t blame him for coming back, most guys would take that invitation. I don’t blame him for starting in the all-star game either since it’s on the fans. All i can say is wow, can Rondo really be over looked for a big name and a formerly great scorer? The answer is yes, if the voting is done largely by, in the words of Jericho, ignoramouses. Deron Williams deserves a spot, in my opinion more so than my beloved Steve Nash, if only because he’s more efficient on both ends. CP3 should have started, but I love Nash more so I won’t complain.
    I should point out that your complaints on Nash and Amare starting aren’t nearly as unfounded as they might sound to some, and thats coming from a PHX fan. if they were both that great they should atleast be guaranteed like the 6th spot.

  3. Anthony Burrola Says:

    Lee-not as much as Jordan when he missed that breakaway dunk in the All-Star game, but more than him because Vinsanity relinquished his spot so that JORDAN COULD START.

    Tommy-from what I read it was fictional. And if it was real, WHY THE FACE is right. Glad you are being honest with us about Phoenix and their loser players.

  4. sam Says:

    haha why the face

  5. Lifetime Pregnancy Pact Says:

    […] NBA All-Star Starters Announced « An Epic MessThe movie is called “The Pregnancy Pact” and I realize that I probably just added at least one more viewer to Lifetime programming. Since I know most of the people that read my… […]

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