Upset Night in the NBA

Denver Nuggets @ Utah Jazz, 105-95

The Nuggets ‘Melo Out the Jazz

The Denver Nuggets strolled into Energy Solutions Arena without their two best players, but it didn’t seem to matter. No ‘Melo, no Chauncey, no problem. To me, this reveals just as much about the Nuggets as it does about the Jazz. Utah is a very average team despite returning virtually the same players three years in a row.In 2007-2008 they advanced to the second round of the playoffs and lost a best-of-seven in six against the first seeded Los Angeles Lakers. In 2008-2009 they were the 8th seed and lost to the Lakers again in five. This year, they’re 18-15 and just dropped a home game to a Nuggets team missing its two best players. While they have almost all the same players, the Jazz are missing something, and I know it isn’t Matt Harpring. That guy is stinking it up on NBA TV right now. I’ve had the channel for three years and it seems like every year they bring in new analysts. He is by far the worst.

What I want to know is what happened to Gary Payton, Chris Webber, and Ahmad Rashad. That trio was hilarious. They did NBA TV Fan Night on Tuesday nights and by the end of the season I felt like I had a special connection with them. You know, kind of like how you watch a series like the Cosby Show and feel like you can identify with Bill. I felt like I could connect with Chris. Whenever I was down, Gary knew just what to say to make me smile again. They’re extremely insightful while offering unique angles that common fans don’t always see, and they are hilarious to boot. I need my Gary and Chris(By the way, if you didn’t catch that, I just reunited Ahmad Rashad and Bill Cosby, which hasn’t been done since Ahmad’s real-life wife Phylicia Rashad played Bill Cosby’s TV-wife Clair Huxtable). Having to watch Matt Harpring point out the obvious during highlights is just painful. I just watched the recap for the Pacers-Timbercubs game, which had a score of 122-111, and he had the nerve to say, “You can’t give up 122 points. That’s not good defense.” REALLY, MATT? You get PAID to tell me what people who don’t even follow sports could tell me? NBA Commissioner David Stern had to be coaxed into shelling out the cash for quality NBA officials but willingly contracted Matt Harpring, who fails to analyze as an analyst. Sing it with me and John Legend: if you’re out there, bring back Gary and Chris!

Stick to fast food, Matt. We don't want you to strain yourself trying to say something insightful.

Back to the game though; the Nuggets are proving that they’re an upper-echelon team. While they may not be in the same class as the Lakers and the Celtics, they’re definitely being wait-listed till a spot opens up. They show-cased their depth tonight, along with their speedy point guard Ty Lawson, who abused his defenders for 23 points on 9 of 14 shooting and 9 assists. Nene was a pest, nabbing 6 steals from the Jazz, half of which went for easy fast break opportunities. I hope a healthy Nuggets team rounds into form against a solid Dallas team in the playoffs this year. I guarantee it won’t end up 4-1 like last year’s playoffs.

Orlando Magic @ Chicago Bulls, 93-101

Too Cold for Magic in Chicago

For the second night in a row, Dwight Howard scored only 9 points. Unlike January 1st, January 2nd did not end well for his ballclub. The Magic were downed by the Baby Bulls, who are on a 4-game winning streak since the return of Tyrus Thomas. But like they teach us in Sociology, don’t mistake correlation with causation, because he had a very quiet 6 points and 5 rebounds. This loss weighs heavily on Vince Carter, who had an absolutely terrible shooting night, making just 3 of his 15 attempts for a total of 8 points. Howard and Carter combined for a grand total of 17 points, which helps explain why there was no magic in the building by game’s end.

Memphis Grizzlies @ Phoenix Suns, 128-103

Grizzlies Run Wild in Phoenix

This loss is by no means upsetting to me. To the rest of the NBA, however, this qualifies as an upset. Memphis quietly improved to a very respectable 16-16 record with their resounding win over the Suns. Jared Dudley was too busy tweeting about Nate Robinson’s amazing performance last night that he forgot to bring what little game he has to tonight’s game. Jared, I think all of Phoenix agrees with me when I say that instead of tweeting while watching a meaningless Knicks-Hawks matchup, you should have been watching film of the Grizzlies, who just embarrassed you in your own arena. If you’re not going to watch film, at least go workout or something. Your body has less tone than William Hung’s ears and body, and you’re a professional athlete. Come on, man. Come on.

Cleveland Cavaliers @ New Jersey Nets, 94-86

Cleveland Succeeds in 27th Attempt to Ruin My Night

This is very upsetting to me because I hate to see the Cavs win any games, even if they barely beat the 3-30 Nets. That’s not a typo. 3-30 is their current record.

As always, another fun night in the NBA.


3 Responses to “Upset Night in the NBA”

  1. Laron Says:

    lol @ william hung. NBA Tv just arrived to my cable provider for free, and now I have to listen to that douche.

  2. tommyhancock Says:

    I agree completely. The Huxtables are a family America should be modeled after in all aspects.

  3. Daniel Cool Beans Lee Says:

    lol for a second I was like “Nets beat the Cavs?????!!” cuz of the theme of the blog.

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